This One Is Just B*llocks

Hello fellow truth seekers I apologise for my extended absence. I've been trying to crack my biggest case so far and I've made alot of progress. Hopefully I can share my findings with you soon. To get back in to the swing of things I'm going to present you with another of Mike's Minis. This time we're investigating the theory that Stephen King was the one who really assassinated John Lennon in 1980. This is the belief of Steve Lightfoot, you can read more about his John Lennon theory on his site here. He basically claims that Stephen King in league with Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan plotted to murder John Lennon with Mark Chapman being a patsy. He alledges that Chapman and King look similar, let's take a look:



This is Mark Chapman and...

This is Stephen King.

I guess they do look likely similar if you really squint.

Mr. Lightfoot summarises his theory like this:

"The story about Mark Chapman is a cover-up. Bold print government cryptographic codes that include the killer’s face and true identity, the killer’s alleged name and letter to the editor printed before the murder and Richard Nixon’s book, The Real War, in back issues of Time, Newsweek, and US News and World Report magazines printed before, during, and after the night of December 8, 1980 prove that Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan arranged for the author Stephen King, then barley famous, to assassinate John Lennon. That King’s writings draw, dramatically, from the crime and that he taunts us all in his interviews and comments only makes this the story of a lifetime." (Taken from Mr. Lightfoot's website)

Do I, M.V.D. the greatest of all conspiracy crackers, believe that there was a conspiracy involving 2 American presidents and a soon to be world famous author to kill John Lennon? Well you all know I love a good conspiracy but this is just lunacy. One demented man using the internet to spread his brand of paranoia to anyone that will read. Which is nothing like what I do with Michael Van Dyke's Truth Movement. I only write about real conspiracies. I'm perfectly sane. Honest...

It SOOO Was You!

Hello and welcome to the second of Mike's Minis. This week we're examining the Shaggy Case. What is the Shaggy Case? Well in 2001 Mr. Shaggy and his co-conspirator RikRok released a musical single called "It Wasn't Me" in which they deny being responsible for various sexual acts. I have gathered a great deal of proof to show you that in fact it was him, what I will present to you now will prove without a shadow of a doubt that Shaggy and yes even RikRok are randy buggers.

Well let's start with the lyrics which are the biggest indications that it was all a lie. Here is the opening exchange between Messrs Shaggy and Rok.

"Rok: Yo', man
Shaggy: Yo'
Rok: Open up, man
Shaggy: What do you want, man?
Rok: My girl just caught me
Shaggy: You let her catch you?
Rok: I don't know how I let this happen
Shaggy: With who?
Rok: The girl next door, you know
Shaggy: Man
Rok: I don't know what to do
Shaggy: Say it wasn't you"

How can anyone possible suggest it wasn't him after hearing that? Perhpas further lyrics will prove his innocence.

"To be a true player you have to know how to play
If she say a night, convince her say a day
Never admit to a word when she say makes a claim
And you tell her baby no way".

Pretty much an admission there wouldn't you say? It would appear that Shaggy possesses some kind of mental power to convince women what they see isn't true. I think it's safe to say that Mr. Shaggy is a threat to world security.

Let's look at some photo evidence. This is what Shaggy looks like:


Can you really trust a man that looks like this? Here is quite clearly trying to use his telepathic abilities. We can not believe this man, if he says it wasn't him then it obviously was him. Can we find anymore evidence in the video to show these men are guilty of these sexual crimes? How about this?


Photographic evidence! Case closed!!

The Mini Voice of The People

C.G.B. Spender writes: "Even his name "Shaggy" sounds like a hollow sexual boast. It was so obviously him, I don't know how he has the nerve to deny it."

funzonefan writes: "Yes it was him, he uses his abilities to trick women into bed."

Mr X writes: "Seriously what the hell are you talking about? It wasn't Shaggy it was RikRok, Shaggy's just trying to give him advice in a no win situation. Don't go giving Shaggy a hard time, Angel was a pretty sweet song. Screw RikRok though. He's just a dirty b'stard!"

Dude Looks Like A Lady

Welcome to the first of Mike's Minis, a new series of mini articles dedicated to the lighter side of conspiracy theories. The stories covered in Mike's Minis are just harmless fun aimed at keeping my dedicated readers entertained until I expose the next global conspiracy. So on we go with our first mini investigation.

Is Lady GaGa a Man?

Is Lady GaGa not really a lady at all? There is quite a bit of evidence to suggest that the popular singer is packing something in her downstairs region that shouldn't really be there. Is she perhaps a hermaphrodite? Or a man in drag? For legal reasons I'm not going to draw any conclussions on this matter but I'll leave you with some photographic evidence so you can make up your own mind...

The Mini Voice of the People

C.G.B. Spender writes "If she's a woman then I'm going gay."

Mr. X writes "she's totally a dude."

funzonefan writes "GaGa's got a bigger chopper than my mum."

Next time on Mike's Minis: Shaggy - was it him?

Don't Return To Sender

The Michael Van Dyke Casebook:

Elvis Lives!!!

Welcome to another Michael Van Dyke investigation. This week I've been focusing once again on the so called "death" of a musical icon. Elvis Presley was the king of rock and roll and allegedly died on the toilet in 1977. Of course this is what the Shadow Government want you to believe. But the truth is quite different!

Is Elvis dead? Well if he is then I've been wasting my life trying to discover truths that don't exist. In my honest opinion I believe that Elvis Presley faked his own death to escape the media spotlight and as usual I have compelling evidence to prove this. Read on if you can handle the truth...

The Wax Body of Elvis Aron Presley

How do you fake the death of one of the most famous men in the world? Simple you create a wax sculptor of him and shove it in a coffin!


Elvis had a custom made coffin that weighed over 900 pounds and was reported to be "unusually cool", carrying an air conditioning unit to prevent wax Elvis melting perhaps?

Elvis was on display for the public who noted his waxy looking face, one of Presley's sideburns actually fell off and the body was seen "sweating" or more likely melting! The body was also noted to have girly, pudgy hands which doesn't quite fit with the black belt holding Elvis.


Elvis weighed 250 pounds when he "died" yet on his death certificate it alledges he weighed only 170 pounds, perhaps because he was now little more than wax!

Further Evidence

Hours after Presley's death was announced to the world a man who looked alot like the king was seen ordering a plane ticket to Argentina under an alias reguarly used by Elvis.

A friend of Presley recieved a call from Elvis two days before his apparent death telling her not to believe anything she heard about him in the coming days, a polygraph test proved she was not lying.

A friend of Elvis, Lucy de Barbin, received a single rose in the mail on the day after Elvis' alleged death from "El Lancelot", a secret pet name no one else knew.

Elvis' life insurance policy has never been claimed to this day, a little strange don't you think?

Elvis had a big thing for numbers (a bit like our old friend Tupac and the number 7 eh?). Adding the numbers contained in the date of his alleged death equals 2001, the title of Presley's favourite movie, 2001!



It has been scientifically proven that the signature on Presley's death certificate is that of the king himself do you see?

All photographs from the scene of his death and toxicology reports have all mysteriously disappeared...convieniant eh?

There is a great deal of evidence to suggest that Elvis has taken on the identity of his stillborn twin brother Jesse with both his half sister Eliza Alice Presley and Dr. Donald Hinton (who testified in a court of law that he co-wrote his book about Elvis with "Jesse") confiiming this.

Many of Elvis Presley's most prized possessions disappeared following his death...perhaps he took them with him?

DNA tests have proven that the Elvis that died was not the same Elvis that the world loved, hard to deny that proof isn't it? Check out Bill Beeny's Elvis' DNA Proves He's Alive here


And how about our old favourite trick of rearranging letters. What happens when you start to jumble the letters of Elvis around. Well you get to the truth of this case. Elvis becomes lives what more could you possibly want?

Elvis: Where is he now?

1. The Bubba Ho-Tep Theory

According to author Joe R. Lansdale Elvis swapped places with an Elvis impersinator in the 1970s after growing tired with the fame game. This impersinator was the one who died and with all documentation proving that he was not the real Elvis lost the authentic Presley was unable to reclaim his position as the king of rock and roll and was forced to become an Elvis impersinator himself.

2. Elvis & The Planet of The Apes

According to the Daily Sport, Britain's finest boob orientated newspaper Elvis faked his death and then became a movie extra and he was spotted playing an ape in Tim Burton's re-imagining of The Planet of The Apes.

3. Special Agent Presley

Elvis joined forces with Richard Nixon and joined what is now the DEP (Drug Enforcement Agency) and led the war against drugs. He faked his death so he could continue this work in secret!

4. Elvis didn't want to be "Sleeping With The Fishes"

Elvis was an enemy of the Mafia and was forced to fake his death to avoid being killed by them.

The Voice of the People

Once again we have had plenty of input from our friends in the Truth Movement community and once again I present you a selection of the most interesting e-mails I've recieved on this case.

C.G.B Spender writes: "I'll say it again Illuminati! They needed Elvis for their plans. If you want to control the people you take their king!"

Joe from the Illuminati writes "I can tell you one thing it certainly had nothing to do with the Illuminati, in fact they don't even exist."

funzonefan writes "I'm telling you there's an island where all the celebrities that fake their deaths go and live. Tupac's there, Michael Jackson, Hitler, Jesus and Elvis must be there to!"

trustno1 writes "I'd be sued for suggesting that Elvis was romantically involved with a pot bellied pig called Clarence so I won't. But imagine if you were the most famous rock star in the world and you were involved in a bestial relationship that the world could never accept. Surely faking your death would be the only way you can keep that relationship going?"

Hounddog65 writes "Elvis is alive and we're friends. We have Singstar parties every week and he always gets the highest score on Suspicious Minds."

the_king writes "I've seen Elvis, he's still alive. He was kidnapped by aliens who needed a messiah. They brought him back last week"

theREALelvis writes "Seriously I'm dead and have been for quite some time."

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Once again I leave you with undeniable photo evidence. Can you deny Elvis lives after reading this? Of course you can't!






Next time: The first part of our epic in depth look at the greatest conspiracy of them all, Paul is Dead.

Thug Life After Death?

The Michael Van Dyke Casebook:

File #1: "The Tupac Shakur Case"

Hello I'm Michael Van Dyke and if you're reading this then you must have an open mind and be ready to hear the truth. As this is the first case I'm reviewing I thought I'd start with something a little less dark...

On September 7th 1996 popular rap artist Tupac Shakur was shot in a drive by shooting "dying" several days later. For many this is the end of the story but for us this is just the beginning.

Is Tupac really dead? I'm about to provide you with evidence that suggests that no he is not. I will provide you with nearly 15 years of evidence gathered by Tupac fans and other conspiracy theorists. I will also provide you with startling new evidence that will finally prove that 2Pac ain't dead homies!

Why do people think Shakur is still alive?

There are many, many theories surrounding the apparent death of Tupac Shakur. There is a strong belief that he faked his own death. But why would a hugely popular performer fake his death at the peak of his fame? What evidence is there to suggest he is alive? Are the Illuminati involved? Or perhaps the lizard people. What follows is the proof that Shakur still walks amongst us:

The 7 Day Theory:

Is the number 7 important to this case? I'd say so below are are a list of clues involving the number 7 that prove without a shred of doubt that Tupac lives!

Shakur was shot on September 7th

He survived seven days after being shot (including the day he was shot).

There are seven days in a week, Tupac was shot on one of those days and died on another coincidence?

Shakur's last album released whilst he was alive was released exactly seven months before his death.

The first album released after his "death" was called The Don Killuminati: The 7 Day Theory and was recorded in seven days. The album also opens with the track Bomb First on which seven gunshots can be heard.

Tupac died at 4:03 PM. What do you get if you add these numbers together? That's right seven!

He was 25 years old at the time of his "death". Add this two digits together and you know what you get, seven once again! And is it just coinicidence that he died in 1996 which adds up to 25 alo and we all know what 2 and 5 add up to. Seven. Again.

There is rumoured to be a link between Tupac's shooting and fellow Hip Hop star Biggie Smalls. Well isn't seven one of the biggest small numbers?

The night before Tupac died he watched the movie Police Academy 7: Mission To Moscow which he only gave a 7 out of 10 because it did not feature the character Hightower who is 6ft 7 and also has size 16 feet add those two numbers together and yet again you get seven! Do you see?

In the movie Gridlock'd (which starred Tupac) there is a scene where all the L's on a menu board have been replaced with 7's!

Tupac "had" a tattoo on his back with the reference Exodus 16:31 (which adds up to eleven which ryhmes with seven conveniant eh?) which is "So the people rested on the seventh day." A little strange don't you think?

Pretty conclusive stuff eh?

Further Evidence

Tupac "died" on Friday 13th a most suspicious day

Shakur was known to wear a bulletproof vest anywhere he went yet on the day of his shooting whilst visiting Las Vegas he decided to not wear it.

Tupac often rapped about his funeral yet following his "death" he was cremated, a little strange don't you think?

Tupac had taken on the monicker of Makaveli which if you move a few letters around becomes Mak alive! Another clue to truth perhaps. Tupac is also known to have studied the works of Niccolò Machiavelli the Italian philisopher who inspired Tupac's change of name and who was renowned as a master of faking his own death. Perhaps Shakur learned a few lessons from his idol?

The first album released by Shakur following his apparent death features no tribute to the dead man which is a little odd...

On the cover of his 7 Day Theory album Shakur is seen being crucified is that a hint from Tupac that just like Jesus he will rise again? Tupac is known to have enjoyed bread and fish and often used it to feed his many friends isn't there someone else who was good at feeding people with bread and fish? Do you see?

On a recent record released by Shakur he is heard saying Rest in Peace Biggie Smalls who died after Tupac. How can he possibly have known? Could he see the future or perhaps he still walks amongst us...

On his more recent releases he mentions the current wave of rappers by name how is this possible. He refers to Eminem by his popular nickname of Em. Perhaps they use computers eh? Whoa this isn't Star Trek that kind of technology just doesn't exist.

Let's take a look at Shakur's autopsy photo:

Notice anything missing? That's right one of his tattoos is quite clearly not there. Obviously this is a Tupac look-a-like used to hide the truth! You need proof? Then compare it to this:

Perhaps my word isn't enough for you, perhaps you need to hear the opinions of other experts. How about the opinions of Alicia Keys? She's bound to have some valid points.

Keys maintains that "Gangsta Rap" doesn't really exist and is just an attempt to make black people kill each other. So what does she think when it comes to the Tupac case? She believes that the government engineered the feud between Shakur and Biggie Smalls to prevent another black leader emerging. This is of course rubbish as there is now a reasonably black leader of the free world and we all know Tupac isn't really dead.

Well I've presented you with the details and now you must decide for yourselves whether Tupac Shakur is alive or dead. Before you make your minds up let me share with you the opinions of my fellow Truthers.

The Voice of the People

Each week I will include the best correspondonce I have recieved on the topic we're discussing. This weeks topic has been a popular one and I have recieved countless e-mails from readers who want to share their theories. Here are a selection of the most interesting e-mails.

C.G.B. Spender writes: "One word for ya The Illuminati! No one else could pull off such an eleborate hoax. Shakur challenged The Illuminati on one of his songs and they taught him a lesson. He works for them, he's part of the global conspiracy now!"

Deep Throat writes: "2Pac was friends with Jada Pinkett, who married Will Smith. Will Smith was known as the Fresh Prince. Prince sang a song called head. 2Pac had a head, head rhymes with dead. Coinicdence?"

trustno1 writes: "I'd be sued for suggesting that 2Pac and the Notorious B.I.G. were involved with in a love affair so I won't say it. But imagine if two men in a notoriously homophobic business found love in each others arms and knew that their friends and fans could never accept their relationship. Wouldn't faking their deaths and running away to a tropical island to spend their lives together make sense?"

thuglife4eva writes "Nah man my nigga paccy ent dead. He out tha w8ing to cum bac bigga and betta than eva b4 in 2013 itll be da bomb!"

funzonefan writes "2Pac's not dead, he's living on THE island man with the rest of them, Elvis, Biggie, Hitler. They're all there and they're all alive"

Tupac Sightings

To conclude this edition of Don't Believe The Truth I will show you some of the recent sightings of the apparently dead Shakur.

Thank you for taking the time to read this article. I believe I have offered you all that you need to know to see the truth in this case. If you feel you have anything you would like to add to this or any future article please feel feee to e-mail me at thetruthmovement@hotmail.co.uk. And always remember Don't Believe The Truth...

Next time: Elvis Lives!!!

Introduction

My name is Michael Van Dyke and I know the truth.

If you want to know it to then read on...

If not look away now because this blog will blow your mind.

I was born the day John Fitzgeral Kennedy was assassinated. Perhaps that is what sealed my destiny. Perhaps I am the reincarnated spirit of JFK sent back to expose the truth of what really happened on that day in Dallas...

I have spent most of my life trying to bring the truth to the masses. We live in a world that does not really exist. Everything we know is a lie. There is a "Shadow Government" that rule this world and they don't want you to know what is really happening. They cover up the truth, they make you believe the lies. 9/11, the JFK assassination, the deaths of Elvis, Tupac Shakur, Princess Diana and Michael Jackson and the life of Paul McCartney. You think you know the truth but as I will reveal what you know is wrong.

I will tell you what the government don't want you to know. My quest has cost me a great deal in my life. The government took my wife, destroyed my reputation and have forged documents saying I suffer from delusions but they can not silence me. The truth will be free.

The tissue of lies will be ripped into tiny pieces.

Remember, don't believe the truth because it's all a lie.